I heard we made out
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
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