How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
