every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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