We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
