i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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