OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
