Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Be still, my beating vagina.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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