Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
