I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
im on a boat
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