Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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