Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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