There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
