Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
