i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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