Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
