He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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