They should really pass out barf bags in church
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
