with your own penis?
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
