OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
is that a dick in a sweater?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
