He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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