Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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