fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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