I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
