You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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