Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Randomize
