and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just forgot I was standing up.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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