I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
