my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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