Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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