go do what you do best...puke behind churches
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
