He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
