I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
