she was so not down for the gang bang
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
