I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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