i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
