He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
