don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
