Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
two words...techno handjob
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
