Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
