Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
