I wannas sexs uuuuu
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
