I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
