I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
