I just made out with a guy for $7.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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