dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
