I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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