I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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