yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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