yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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