It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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