Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
