People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
