To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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