everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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